


The Memory Remains

by Charlotte_Lancer



Series: Piland Fics [1]
Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Discovery
Genre: Angst, Hopeful Ending, M/M, No Dialogue, Not Beta Read, Past Relationship(s), Reflection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-18
Updated: 2019-02-18
Packaged: 2019-10-30 19:19:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 547
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17834588
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Charlotte_Lancer/pseuds/Charlotte_Lancer
Summary: Pike's thoughts after the events of 2.05.





	The Memory Remains

**Author's Note:**

> Title taken from the Metallica song of the same name, which otherwise has absolutely nothing to do with this fic.

Years. It had been years since Pike had heard from Leland, nearly twice as long since he had seen him in person, and, if you'd asked him yesterday, Pike would have bet that he would never see the other man again. Never would have guessed that today they'd be standing on the same ship, on the same walkway, less than ten feet apart. Funny how life tended to surprise you like that.

 

And a surprise, it was. When Leland had called his name through the view screen, it had taken a moment to register the once-familiar voice. It was a voice he'd once heard every day; 

 

_ First, in loud greetings across the campus as the walked to different classes. _

 

_ In quiet jokes as they studied in the library. _

 

_ In gentle murmurs as they drifted off to sleep. _

 

_ Then, in hushed anger as they argued in the night, careful to keep from waking the neighboring dorms. _

 

_ In frantic panic as he pleaded with Pike to stay. _

 

_ In calm resignation as they said their final goodbyes. _

 

So, yes, Pike new that voice well. Knew the owner of that voice as well as he knew himself, once. But time had changed more than just their hair, and he found himself staring at someone he could hardly claim to know. Someone who had spent years doing things Pike couldn’t even begin to imagine for reasons Pike wasn’t sure he wanted to know.

 

Some things hadn’t changed, however, and when Leland smiled, it was the same smile that Pike had fallen in love with all those years ago. It hurt to see that smile in the same way that it had hurt to hear Leland’s easy joking over the view screen call. Dredged up memories that that had been buried, that needed to  _ stay  _ buried if there was any chance of them working together running smoothly like Cornwell wanted.

 

He couldn’t bury the memories again so easily, but he could certainly bury his reaction to them. You didn’t get to be a captain without the ability to display professionalism no matter what you were dealing with, no matter  _ who  _ you were dealing with. He very much doubted his crew knew anything of the truth of his past with Leland, and he fully intended to keep it that way. He’d let them assume that Leland was an old friend, let them assume that they had had some generic falling out. Whatever they came up with he’d neither confirm nor deny, letting their imaginations take them further and further from the truth.

 

Take them further and further from the fact that despite everything, he still cared for Leland. Still wanted him in ways that tore at his conscious, that ate at the back of his mind as he listened to Cornwell’s words, that he knew would keep him up well into the night as his mind replayed the day’s events against those of days long gone by. He thought again of what they had shared, so long ago. Not more than a fond memory now, but something that at the time had burned so bright as to eclipse everything else in it’s path.

 

Working with Leland again was a surprise, to be sure. But, perhaps, in time, it would not be an unwelcome one.

**Author's Note:**

> Please tell me I'm not the only one who thought they came across as ex's who still sort of have feelings for each other, because that was all I could think of when I saw this episode. And what do we even call this ship? Is it Piland? Does that work?


End file.
